When I hit the water after jumping off the boat, I immediately noticed two things: first, I was never given a snorkel. Second, I was nervous as all hell. Having a snorkel is important when you're scuba diving so that you don't waste air when you're at the surface. My nervousness made me miss having a snorkel because I had to continue breathing through my regulator--the black thing you suck on that is connected to your air tank. the more air you breath, the less time you have down at the bottom.

The current was strong as predicted, but my dive master was impatient.

"Go to the line! the Line! kevin! by the boat! Go to the side of the boat," Gabe yelled. I didn't actually hear everything he said, since i was bobbing up and down, but i can fill in the blanks. I was already on edge after fumbling through the equipment check.

"Kevin: fix your mask later. work on the rest of your gear." I was embarrassed to forget what connected to what, and how to suit up-- so this was all I needed. I swam earnestly but I was moving slow; the 40lbs weight belt and other equipment attached to my back weren't helping.

To tell the truth, I hadn't been diving for almost two years. Since Thailand 2004. I had talked about diving every week for the first month or two i was in Hawaii. "I think i'm going to go dive this weekend," I would tell my coworkers. But every monday, there was a different excuse. Before I came to the islands, I told myself i would get in a dive before I started work. In my defense, I suppose it was mostly money more than laziness that made me wait. Which is why i
didn't want to do a refresher course: I didn't want to pay an extra $50 for the humiliation of diving in a swimming pool and going throughall the safety stuff. But maybe I should have. I had told the instructor that I would be fine--no problem. I was wrong.

Once I got to the rope, which tethered the boat to the bottom of the dive site, I felt a little a better. But i was still breathing way too heavy. I started to descend, but the air was pushing its way down my lungs hard. I started to panic. Underwater, I could hear myself breathing, and it wasn't good. I sounded like Darth Vader running on a treadmill. there were divers below me and above me oblivious to my predicament. My instructor floated by imploring me to go down. Heprobably thought i was just being lazy. He wanted me to fix my mask and move on. It was fogging and my hair was caught inside.

I think it was then that I realized i was panicking. Panic is the worst thing for a diver. It's basically the only thing that can cause trouble down below. People who don't know how to dive worry about sharks, or running out of air, etc. But when there is a problem, nine times out of ten it's because someone--for no good reason--panics.

I couldn't go on. I decided to ascend. i was only a few feet down but i knew i couldn't go down further. I'd cancel. I get back on the boat and hang out. I already had the ensuing feeling of embarrassment swelling up inside and I started making excuses. All the while, other divers from our boat were passing me, with less interest in me than if i was a fish.

When i surfaced, took the regulator out of my mouth, and breathed real air, i started to calm down. I was still breathing too hard, but I started to make calculations; i figured my odds of actually dying were low enough and determined to avoid humiliation of not going down. I didn't want to be that guy. I gave myself a pep talk started back down.

I was relieved when I saw my dive partner on the line just a few feet down--this meant i wouldn't have to search for my instructor. he'd be waiting for us at the bottom. Before we were to explore the site, the instructor and my partner were going to do some diving skill test (my partner was getting an advanced certification).

While waiting for them to finish some sort of underwater math problem, I saw two sea turtles, floating along playfully. I followed them for a while. i didn't want to loose them. Sea turtles are the Cadillacs of the sea; no creature can match their style. To see two of them act in concert was arresting. It was like a serious moment in a film where the director cues the subtle-yet-touching score because he wants to have a moment of beauty; the action slows down allowing the audience to absorb the emotions of the scene.

But the skills assessment didn't take long, and the they began to move on toward the opening of a sea cave. I was a captive audience, with no choice but to follow where their story was going.

My second dive went off with out a hitch--except for the fact, despite a much clearer mask, that i didn't see anything.

Link posted by Kevin Miles @ 10:52 PM